I just got back today from a two and a half day seminar for my current sales job.  Call it brainwashing if you want, but I feel like I can make a real difference in people’s lives with what I am doing.  I work for a major home fire and security company, and I realized today that I am really in the business of saving lives.  I know that this may seem like a real stretch for most folks to make, but after what I heard and saw the last couple of days, it is true.

I got to hear a recorded call from our national customer monitoring center yesterday.  The home system called the CMC and alerted them of a sensor reading.  The center immediately called the home, it was 2am.  A groggy woman answered the phone.  The CMC asked the woman if everything was ok.  The woman seemed out of sorts, and said everything was fine.  The CMC told her that her carbon monoxide communicator had notified them of high levels of the toxic gas.  The woman seemed confused.  The CMC rep asked how she was feeling, and she said that she had a headache.  The CMC then asked if there were any other people in the house.  She said that her two sons and sister lived in the house as well.  The CMC asked if anyone else had been feeling bad that day.  The woman stated that her oldest son, a 7 year old, had said that his head hurt after dinner that night.  The CMC asked if the woman wanted us to contact the fire department, the woman siad she didn’t know what was going on.  The CMC said that they would contact the fire department and EMS and dispatch them to the home.  The CMC then advised the woman to gather her family and wait outside of the home until help arrived.–END OF CALL–

–NEW CALL–CMC answers and the woman is ecstatic.  She thanked the rep profusely for the call earlier that morning.  The woman said that when the fire department arrived they tested the basement for carbon monoxide, and the level came up as 39, and that 9 was enough to cause CO sickness.  The rep accepted the praise for the company and was audibly happy about the outcome.  The woman, who was 7 months pregnant, said that had it not been for the CMC the entire family would likely not be alive.–END OF CALL–

These were real calls.  I heard them, recording beeps and all.  It changed my perspective on what I am doing.  Yes, I am in a sales position.  Yes, I do do make money by selling the services and protection.  Yes, the more that is sold the more money I make.  Yes, I believe in the products and the services.  So yes, I do work for ADT Fire and Security, and yes, I do save lives for a living.

Thanks for listening;)

This title is very appropriate today.  I am back to the blogstone after some time off, and the reason it hasn’t been maintained is because I have NO time off.  I am on this liquidation project where the expectation is that I am there 7 days a week.  While the money is good, my sanity is waning. 

I have never met more illiterate people in my life.  I have worked in food, and retail for the majority of my life.  I like to think that I am pretty good at what I do, and this project is not it.  For all of you who don’t know, when any retailer is closing or going out of business ALL SALES ARE FINAL.  This means no returns, no exchanges, and no way in hell are you going to get your money back, especially not from me, and don’t even think about talking to anyone without a receipt, nuts!!  I handle each moron on a case by case basis, much like any good psychologist would.  You want to return something you bought 2 days ago because you don’t know the difference between AC and DC, you’re an idiot, but at least I can probably resell what you brought back, unless you opened it.  You couldn’t return it opened before, what makes you think that you can now.  Most of these folks are pretty harmless, and are willing to take what you offer them, it’s the macho “I’m gonna get my money back” fanatics, or “I’m gonna dispute my credit card charge” jack asses.  These people think that because they don’t like want or need what they bought they can just bring it back, and everyone will bow down to their superior aura.  Sorry “dawg”, someone actually called me that the other day, but you can’t.  On your receipt there buck-o, we have stamped twice and printed once “ALL SALES FINAL”.  This is our last warning before you leave.  When you enter there are 4 signs that state the same thing.  Throughout the store there are multiple signs that reiterate the same message.  Then when you come to the registers to check-out, which is pretty much what you did when you walked in the store and ignored all of the bright yellow and black signs, you set you merchandise, or purse, or small lap dog on a counter with a 2′x3′ sign that states “ALL SALES ARE FINAL”. Then the cashier notifies you, reiterating the regurgitation, that all sales are final, but still you continue.  Somehow you didn’t see all of the signs, or hear the announcements or the cashier, so here you stand.  You with your product, your receipt and you well thought out argument.  Here I stand with drive to sell the entire store in the next three weeks so I can fly home, 880 miles away.  You tell me who is going to come out happier.  You believe that you are entitled to whatever you want, I and don’t see it the same way.  I am not a heartless man (see previous posts).  I have a job to do and I am going to do it well, but when you come in and say, “No wonder you’re going out of business.”  That doesn’t bother me.  I am employed because this retailer couldn’t stay in business, thanks.  I will listen to every story, and every line, and yes they are lines, because I have heard them all before.  “I didn’t know that my boyfriend had an XBOX and not a PS3.”  Guess you’re not as close as you thought.  “I bought this and it doesn’t work/not the right one.” How do you know?  YOU DIDN’T EVEN OPEN IT!  But back to my favorite.  I am going to dispute the credit card charges guys, and yes 99% of these vagrants are male.  They argue for several minutes with the customer service person, then a couple of minutes with the store manager on duty, then they get me.  When they call me to the customer service counter, it’s usually because someone is acting like a fool.  I never know what I am going to get, but I can guess from about 30 feet away.  These guys are easy.  They are standing with one fist on their hip, one hand leaning on the counter with the product or the bag with the product in it under that hand.  Their receipt is laying out on the counter and they are looking past the manager, staring at the wall.  They are the ones who make my day.  Why?  Because they have issues, and after all, I am here to help.  I listen to their story, and then explain to them that while I understand their concerns/problems there is nothing I can do.  The next thing out of their mouth is “What am I suppose to do.”  My answer, “Sir, while I understand your situation, I cannot accept your return.”  Then comes the fun, “This is bullshit”, “You’re and asshole”, “What kinda’ fuckin’ shit is this.”  I’ve only heard that one about a million times, and always from a casually dressed white male who doesn’t know how to deal with anyone but his wife/girlfriend telling him no.  I say this because then their true colors come out.  This is where they call me some names, I inform them that if they do not change their language they will escorted from the building.  This always startles them for a minute.  I imagine that they are going back to when they entered the store and saw the security guard.  This calms them down for about 30 seconds.  “Fine, I’ll dispute the charges! You can keep the piece of shit!”  I then ask them if they are abandoning their merchandise.  This causes a pause.  They realize in this moment that I have a signed copy of their receipt, a contract if you will, between them and the credit card company. By the way, we have all of your information at our fingertips.  You bought it, you own it.  No one told you that you must come here and buy the POS that you are now trying to return. So here is when they decide they’ll take it with them and send out a parting shot, usually a well thought out, “I’m never gonna shop here again.”  Genius, the store is closing and the company is going out of business.  But, the best is the guy who says, “I’m a lawyer.”  I’ve had 2 of these in the last month.  One was harmless and just frustrated, I can truly appreciate that, but the second was a riot.  By the time I was called to the front of the store he had called the customer service associate a bitch, and didn’t even want to talk to the manager.  The first thing he does is hand me his receipt and his business card.  I look at both and ask what the problem is.  He starts off calm, but becomes highly irate within 30 seconds.  He starts to rant and rave about how he’ll sue our pants off and there is no way they we’ll stay in business after he gets through with us.  Um, OK.  I inform him that he will be escorted from the building at this point.  I call for the guard and hand him his receipt and card.  He takes his card and puts it in my shirt pocket with one hand, pokes me in the chest with his other hand.  WTF?!?  He then storms to the door calling me a bastard.  The guard and I follow him outside informing him that he is now trespassing.  He goes off to his car, drives to the front of the store and stops, rolls down the window and tries to apologize for his behavior.  I inform him that it is too late for apologies.  He drives off.  Two weeks later we receive a letter in the store apologizing for his actions that day.  I was floored.  If you have ever worked in the service industry you know that this almost never happens.  In fact, in the ten plus years that I have been a manager, I have never seen or even heard of this.  People amaze me.

Thanks for listening, and yes it does feel good to get this off my chest, so to speak.

Love ya;)